I want to cry but I choke it
I crumple it up & it dissolves back into me
What just happened there?
did I shrink just a little?
Something died there
a missed opportunity to rip the top off my feelings
But I must steel myself
There is no time for this shit
What will everyone think?
If I crumble, how can I move forward?
but if I don’t feel it, I’ll never have moved from this spot
This stillness anchors me
while the insanity swirls all around
sucking me down
flushing into my veins and drowning me out
What will be left?
Just a shard?
A fragment?
A blackness?
or maybe a Light… a clean slate.
“the wolf at my throat”
m.eppard ©2007
Published by Melissa Eppard
I am a professionally trained and certified Life Coach with personal experience overcoming cancer as a mom in my mid-30's. After a diagnosis in 2014 I began blogging as a way to communicate with my family and friends, but it soon became much more than that. Writing was my lifeboat and connection with the outside world while immune compromised and healing from surgery.
Now I’m using my personal and professional experiences and living my dream of supporting others as a Healing Hope Cancer Coach. I help my clients understand their options, develop the best care team and a supportive network. Together we unpack the experience of having a cancer diagnosis, processing the emotional impact of a cancer. I offer stress reduction techniques to help manage fear and uncertainty, and coaching to support healing on all dimensions. After treatment ends, I help people find their personal roadmap through the pain and uncertainty, to a life fueled by clarity, personal strength and a connection to their unique life purpose. From diagnosis, through treatment and recovery, no one should go it alone!
I draw upon 10+ years of work immersed in holistic health and wellness. I was born and raised in the Mid-Hudson Valley of New York and live there still with my husband and son. My survivorship blog Melissashealinghope.com chronicles my healing journey. You can learn more about my work as a coach at MelissaEppardCoaching.com.
View all posts by Melissa Eppard
Melissa's Healing Hope 
beautiful, moving. keep speaking your truth. loving you endlessly, Chrissa
You are making it through this! Love is here to hold you! *we are here to hold you! *~ ❤ ~*
Dearest Missy,
I can imagine any Godfather on this planet being prouder of anyone than I am of you, and the. love you have radiated and shared with so many is something that I’ve never seen before. I have never in my entire life saw & felf so much love for anyone as I saw that night in Woodstock. How lucky to have so many people love you and respect and admire you, The love that you when you boys have for each other Was like out of a fantasy story
Hi honey,
Your message is so courageous and beautiful. I am so proud of your strength and courage.
Love,
Mom
wow…amazing. the words …the image…thank you.
You will never know how many people you just healed! xoxoxoxox, Joyce
A beautiful poem. One of my favorite lines from a country and western song is: ³Can you make folks feel what you feel inside.² I believe that ability is the key to living a fulfilled life. You have that ability and your words are powerful. Sending you loving healing!!
Love, Win
On 8/27/14 3:47 PM, “melissa’s healing hope” wrote:
> Melissa Eppard posted: “I want to cry but I choke it I crumple it up & it > dissolves back into me What just happened there? did I shrink just a little? > Something died there a missed opportunity to rip the top off my feelings But I > must steel myself There ” >