Who am I when I am not “Doing”? I imagine it will take a lifetime to unravel this riddle. Question really is, can I slow down the ‘doing’ side of my nature long enough to simply enjoy being? The two seem so inter-meshed, like different sides of the same coin. One implies action, the Act of Do. The other is a more passive state, yet requires cultivation -the Art of Being.
Wait, is BEING really passive? You could be doing nothing overtly, but enjoying a state of being-ness. There is a required objectiveness, as if observing yourself from a third person perspective, the internal “I” watching over… Melissa is observing the clouds. Melissa is breathing in and exhaling out… Even in being, there is the act of observation, the internal watcher and narrator who often dons the hood of the judge and critic. So tricky all of this!
So first, you allow yourself to simply BE. You make time for it. Then, it is happening. Then, sensation arises. You enjoy Being. But WAIT, are you allowed to just feel this pleasure of doing nothing? And is the act of simply Being the same as doing nothing? Surely this feels like more than nothing. My pleasure is important. My well being is important…. but why does it feel uncomfortable to feel good? The mind wanders to all the many To Do lists pounding away at the brain. You falter in your beingness. You feel judgement towards yourself for suspending the taskmaster always driving you to DO. Then, you catch yourself in this mental chatter and self judgement.
Feel into this… what will happen if I feel good? Who will keep up with all the Doing? What is getting done? Truth is, the lists will always continue to grow. The doing will always be there to return to. Breathe in and out again -slip back into a state of Being.
Ahhh, there. There you are. Just BE.