Loud Wishes

Plugged into the wifi

-a dandelion seed plucked and devoid of nature

mind naked in a lonely room

and my devices pulling, pulling.

breaching a wall of silence

peeling back sounds

and thoughts

and urges

There is nothing to be Done right now.

Just me and my breath



My house is literally abuzz with a wifi-signal, electric lines and devices speaking their silent code, electromagnetic frequency pulsing. Only during a blackout do you really sit in complete silence. Being alone in my house is the closest proximity right now to complete silence and I take some time to reflect

We are all feeling a little cooped up right now. Joey and Julian are out so I can be alone and rest a bit… It is Winter and looking back, my summer was so bed ridden and hazy that I find my feet are aching for bareness on cool green grass, -skin relaxing and singing under a hot sun, breathing in open air, sweet breezes on your cheek. I sorely miss nature + strength, limberness + youth.

I tell Joey my age so he can gauge how I’m feeling.

“I’m 80 tonight” I’ll say, holding my back as I peel off the couch.

Was I once springy and youthful, a ripely plucked 35?

I want the juice of my late 20’s again. I want to chart out and climb the peaks of the Adirondacks, run marathons,

make love, sleep late

Laugh hard

stay Awake

Be Alive

These are the things I want most right now. What is it you most want in 2015?

“No, I want them right NOW!”

I don’t want to get pumped up with chemicals tomorrow. #11 of twelve rounds of Taxol -one week away from the final treatment in this 20 week cruise on Chemo river.

I want to hear what your loudest wishes are for next year. Tell me in 1 word or more…

Big heart waves of Happy New Year love & gratitude to you! Thanks for sharing this past year with me!

Onward & Upward!

Awake cutoutcopy


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