We are truly not in Kansas anymore. Days are filled with appointments and calls coordinating between doctors and insurance. Try and relax. Don’t get stressed out. Stay on top of things. Be organized. Ask all the right questions. If you don’t stay on top of these people, nothing will get done. Who is connecting the dots? How many times do I have to call to speak with a real person or get a call back? For an organized person with an administrative background, I am struggling. What does this say for all the people out there who do not have the background and skills that I possess. My sympathy and compassion for the cancer community grows….
As of today I have a surgery date. Tuesday, July 15th. I had hoped to complete an IVF cycle beforehand to retrieve some eggs to stash away in case we decide to grow the Eppard family in the future. For those of you who don’t know, there is a good chance that chemotherapy will destroy my fertility. I want a little seed of hope for the future… even if we decide not to go that route, I’m not ready to have that choice taken from me.
With surgery moving forward, I will have to pursue the IVF after surgery and before chemo. So many steps, so many appointments.
A benefit has been planned in my honor for this Sunday. I am moved and also feel sheepish and exposed. It’s a strange place to be in… all of this.
To everyone who has reached out and expressed your love. Thank you… I am trying to bathe in that feeling and not the overwhelm I mentioned before. Needless to say, I am not able to call and respond to all the people I want to, so please feel me now. Know that I appreciate your thoughts and gestures. Things are starting to come together. A special thank you to Lisa V. and Gianni for the donated haircut and babysitting. Thank you to Lari and all the musicians and people who are coordinating the benefit on the 6th. Thank you to Tonya and Chen Yong at Stone Flower Mountain for the donated acupuncture (SO HELPFUL!) Thank you to my wonderful husband for holding me through this all and my amazing Julian for keeping my head in his joyful present moment/s. Thank you Mom for calming me down when I call a crying mess. And to everyone else… you know who you are, thank you!
I hope to check in again before surgery is said and done. Stay tuned…