Here is the crossroads. The new me in the old cocoon, on the doorstep of what’s next. Trying to reconcile my world view, tipped on its axis. I step forward + still want to scream when I’m faced with holier than thou proclamations of how you can be saved
if only I eat a certain way, fine tune my thoughts, wear the right oils, cleanse on the new moon. I was that person once extolling the Golden Nuggets of Holistic Health Care.
I want to scream, “These Things Will Not SAVE you!” There is no bullet proof vest made of Angel’s hairs and coated in your ability to control everything. Just let that thought go and keep moving on.
Now I am 2 weeks and a day beyond my last and final dose of chemo. This is the longest time I’ve had to let my cells populate and feel at home. -Growing into myself again. Everyday testing the new normal, resuming old habits -a green smoothie here, some yoga stretches there. Acupuncture & healthy foods have been my friends.
I want to make peace with a betrayal in my body. A tattoo for the outside and a balm of reassurance on the inside.
How do you reconcile when doing all the right things, you thought, had led you to awaken the same sleeping dragon?
and where do you go from here?