Steady as She Goes

10 Tools for Resilience in an Age of Whatever the Fuck this is

Are we in a time of collective collapse?

Part of me thinks it seems silly to even ask this. However, to declare, “We are in a time of collapse,” feels like I’m imposing my story on you dear reader. Either way, I think I speak for many who are feeling the weight of this time of being alive on planet Earth.

The personal upheaval is just a glimmer, a reflection of the outer chaos ensuing. I could spend the next 2000 words on a synopsis of the global-political-humanitarian crisis but if you have been awake these last few years, you are already saturated in this knowledge. And the feeling of danger and division is magnified for you doers, fixers, healers, and sensitive empath types.

I’m wondering, when does this deliberate mindful pause—a non-reactive observation period— backslide into full-on sympathetic-system freeze mode? (Yes, this is my analysis paralysis playing out in real time.)

For all the reasons, personal and global, I’m feeling this deep urge to retract, to collapse in. To hide. It feels like a mixture of grief and disorientation. As a Scorpio shapeshifter, I can follow this back to the rhythm of my life. Maybe this time is calling for another cycle of shedding, this old skin becoming too lackluster and restrictive. A therapist-friend called me today and validated something I have been sensing—that this contraction is survival based, and I’m leaning in on the wisdom of my intuition even if I don’t know where this is leading just yet.

So my reason for writing today is this: how do YOU stay the course? How do you keep showing up and remaining steady in all the adulting required in your life when you feel the urge to retract? This is part self-reflection, and part practical advice I’m seeking here. What works to keep you grounded and moored when you feel the deep urge to hide?

Here are some practices I lean on when I feel this way. Please borrow what feels useful, and feel free to comment or write to me if you have other ideas that support you in times like these.

Back to basics. Am I drinking water? Too much caffeine? How is my blood sugar? Do I need to eat? If you live 99% up in your head, it may be time to tuck away the phone and close your laptop for a bit. Don’t forget to check in with the rest of your body.

Being kind to myself. This seems simple and obvious, but I know how hard most of us are on ourselves. Learning to befriend oneself and choosing kindness over criticism is no small feat.

Visualization: Sometimes I am the rock in water. Sometimes I am the water. Whatever images resonate most for you in the moment, flow with it. I’m a very visual person, so this practice feels the most immediately accessible to me and bypasses an overly analytical mind.

Say no. Hell no. Fuck no. No way. I can say no. I can set limits. Setting limits is good and healthy.

Tend to something. I can put my hands in the soil. Grow something. Care for my animals. Feed someone. For example, I like recruiting donations from area restaurants and delivering them to my local community-fridge. To nourish the food-insecure in my community has helped me feel connected and useful.

Sparkly plans. Have something fun or engaging to look forward to. For me this usually involves live music, dancing, nature, or spending time with my girlfriends. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but having something fulfilling on the horizon is such good medicine.

Growth mindset. Learn something new. Revive old skills or indulge in some research. Take a class or challenge yourself in some way. Break up stagnation and work with your brain’s thirst for novelty.

Title this story. Whatever the feeling, explore the roots. What is this story I’m telling myself right now? My emotions may feel weighty, but this is how I see it today. What else may be true? Am I too attached to my perspective, too fixed on being right? What else is going on here?

Express it. Talk it out. Write it out. Seek the help of a counselor, therapist, coach, clergy, or trusted friend.

Do nothing. Wait. Don’t react. Be quiet and still. Many indigenous cultures teach a “sit-spot” practice where they sit quietly in nature for long periods of time, connecting with the environment, and sharpening their senses. Feel your connection to the rhythm of life, to all that is. This time sounds like a luxury, but it might be just the self preservation and peace your spirit needs.

If you found this helpful, please consider sharing it. Together we heal. Together we thrive. 💗

Seeking one-on-one support? Curious about coaching? Schedule a complementary call and let’s recenter you—your body and nervous system, your purpose and pleasure. Learn more at MelissaEppardCoaching.com.

This stunning illustration used as my cover art for this post is by artist Zoe Keller, who sells posters, prints and more here on her website.