When I see pictures of myself, I think of my breasts. Was this picture taken back when they were my true originals, untouched by the surgeon's blade? My eyes are telling too. Who was this carefree girl impervious to such destruction? I don't like to be touched across my chest. It reminds me of how… Continue reading Healing and Waiting
Loud Wishes
Plugged into the wifi -a dandelion seed plucked and devoid of nature mind naked in a lonely room and my devices pulling, pulling. breaching a wall of silence peeling back sounds and thoughts and urges There is nothing to be Done right now. Just me and my breath breathing commentary: My house is literally abuzz with… Continue reading Loud Wishes
2015 -Lighten the Load
What do you hold on to? to possess and label MINE? -or ours this stuff I shuffle room to room S-uffocating T-hings U-nder F-oot F-orever I'd like to peel them all off -layer by layer- see them lift up and float back to their source, my trunk, a store, a shelf, stuffy crate, rusty boxcar,… Continue reading 2015 -Lighten the Load
On Your Mark… Get Set…
Waiting to start, a splinter of light against a vast dark. What can begin to take hold in this barren yet fertile ground? Chemotherapy strips you down, like paint thinner washing out the last self portrait. On a cellular level, diminished as each and every dark internal corner is washed in an acrid bath. It… Continue reading On Your Mark… Get Set…
Water, my Dirty Little Secret
I'm guilty for relishing too long in a hot shower, getting licked and lashed by each lavish drop, distractedly brushing my teeth, preferring to wait and warm my washcloth. I don't want to take this precious commodity for granted, so casually slipping over and through my fingers down the drain. Next time I'll take her and hold… Continue reading Water, my Dirty Little Secret
Gifts You Can’t Find on Black Friday
I grimaced inside when in an attempt to comfort me, people would mention that there would be Gifts, unknown to me now, that this cancer diagnosis would bestow upon me. How could any of this be seen as a gift?! For my readers who know of someone newly diagnosed, please note that this is not… Continue reading Gifts You Can’t Find on Black Friday
Let it be KNOWN
I asked God to be K N O W N to me And suddenly Angels were everywhere They have been there all along! Little flecks of Divine in each and everyone It is the little spark of "I Believe" that gives us flight At times the spark may flicker and wane And the Angels swarm, encapsulating… Continue reading Let it be KNOWN
The Table We Share
BC (before cancer) I was an "I" in an us & them world. Now I sit at the table of humankind. We are together at the most amazing buffet... feasting in good company with abundant servings of thoughtfulness and generosity, simplicity and forgiveness. We honor each other just by showing up. It will take me… Continue reading The Table We Share
Neupogen; Why Sometimes You Can’t Go Home For the Holidays
There is a new kind of terror lurking in my chest. It sets my heart to a manic pace just thinking of it. Neupogen. The little leaflet that comes with these injections says that a majority of people don’t experience severe side effects. It also says that your doctor has chosen this drug for you… Continue reading Neupogen; Why Sometimes You Can’t Go Home For the Holidays
A Day to Celebrate
I was looking at photos of myself from 2 years ago and could barely recognize myself. Being a Scorpio, I find my November 6th birthday usually filled with a measure of heaviness and reflection that somehow suits these colder days marked by less foliage and daylight. This birthday feels different. After a good cathartic cry… Continue reading A Day to Celebrate
Melissa's Healing Hope 