There is a new kind of terror lurking in my chest. It sets my heart to a manic pace just thinking of it. Neupogen. The little leaflet that comes with these injections says that a majority of people don’t experience severe side effects. It also says that your doctor has chosen this drug for you… Continue reading Neupogen; Why Sometimes You Can’t Go Home For the Holidays
A Day to Celebrate
I was looking at photos of myself from 2 years ago and could barely recognize myself. Being a Scorpio, I find my November 6th birthday usually filled with a measure of heaviness and reflection that somehow suits these colder days marked by less foliage and daylight. This birthday feels different. After a good cathartic cry… Continue reading A Day to Celebrate
Canary in a Coal Mine
I'm not sure I would have said this a year ago, but I'm glad it was me. Could I have been strong enough if it were my sister, or my mother? I'm glad I found that lump early and having removed all breast tissue, my run-in with hereditary breast cancer will be put to rest shortly… Continue reading Canary in a Coal Mine
Bitter Fruit
It started with a friend’s new job… A major new job that was to double her annual salary. I am outwardly very happy for her. She deserves this. I am proud of her. At the same time, I was forced to acknowledge this snarky little demon called jealousy. I can ignore it for periods of… Continue reading Bitter Fruit
The Art of Being
Who am I when I am not "Doing"? I imagine it will take a lifetime to unravel this riddle. Question really is, can I slow down the 'doing' side of my nature long enough to simply enjoy being? The two seem so inter-meshed, like different sides of the same coin. One implies action, the Act… Continue reading The Art of Being
I Love Boobies
There is nothing I love more than a big juicy hug from a big breasted woman. There is a little sigh of relief that happens inside the nervous system as I am enveloped in warmth and softness and comfort. It might be because my Mom was well endowed and maybe reminds me of her, or… Continue reading I Love Boobies
No Way to Make this Right
I still have this infantile desire for things to be right, for a simple justice that makes sense. We go on living everyday like it's our right, and how dare things change in any way that discomforts us... that shakes things up? Why does one person get cancer and another person a promotion? Why does… Continue reading No Way to Make this Right
Where the light seeps in
After a lovely afternoon with my dear friend Joyce, I was reminded of some surprising areas of lightness that have come, little wisps of humor to sweep aside the heaviness and worry in this breast cancer journey. For even a moment, any humor found is a life boat worthy of jumping on. My son, although… Continue reading Where the light seeps in
Slowing down
Something is happening to my brain and my being. I am slowing, yet I can’t seem to stop. Sleep comes in 4 hour windows. I am anxious and afraid. I am softening. I cried with someone I barely know today. I let in a stranger. She came at me from the side so gently and… Continue reading Slowing down
jump or fall?
Fear the fear geared up, standing on the precipice of your master Freak out It’s the perfect timeliness of everything you’ve ever pushed against Pressing up upon you How lovey a time to JUMP
Melissa's Healing Hope 