The vision came to me in the shower. I saw myself standing naked at the mouth of an open cave in front of a reverse halo of blackness. Charise was there too, crouched down to take my picture. I remembered seeing her at that art opening last spring, and the open invitation to do a… Continue reading Why I Posed Nude on National TV
I once canceled an appointment with the oncologist because I felt like I was too fat. Here's what happened... The Dr. had been telling me for the last two visits that it was in my best interest to eat a sugar free, mostly fruit and vegetable diet -either that, or take the drug Tamoxifen. The… Continue reading I found the hidden key to post-menopausal weight loss!
There is a raw wordless ache in my core. When I start to approach it, it builds into a fire that agitates my whole system and threatens to engulf the whole of me. It’s in my pulse and my blood. My scalp prickles and my hair hurts. I itch all over. My hands are restless,… Continue reading Coping with Loss after Cancer
I have a secret. It is hidden away underneath my shirt, and only revealed under the most private and intimate of circumstances. I reveal myself to only a select few. My husband, my mother, my aunt, a very few of the closest girlfriends will catch a glimpse. I took for granted my natural born nipples.… Continue reading I Have a Secret
I manage with a healthy dose of denial. Don’t waste too much of your day fretting over what is further down the pike. Just get through today, chin up, with an occasional look down so you know where the next foot is landing. I knew this surgery was looming, and tried to brush off the… Continue reading Mostly I Feel Grateful
Tell a Mom not to use her right arm. Tell this to a Mom with a 4 year old and watch her face. I am one of those people who is never content to do just one thing at a time. While the onions are sauteing, I can get the laundry going, start a fire,… Continue reading Pick me up Mommy!
I grimaced inside when in an attempt to comfort me, people would mention that there would be Gifts, unknown to me now, that this cancer diagnosis would bestow upon me. How could any of this be seen as a gift?! For my readers who know of someone newly diagnosed, please note that this is not… Continue reading Gifts You Can’t Find on Black Friday
I'm not sure I would have said this a year ago, but I'm glad it was me. Could I have been strong enough if it were my sister, or my mother? I'm glad I found that lump early and having removed all breast tissue, my run-in with hereditary breast cancer will be put to rest shortly… Continue reading Canary in a Coal Mine
There is nothing I love more than a big juicy hug from a big breasted woman. There is a little sigh of relief that happens inside the nervous system as I am enveloped in warmth and softness and comfort. It might be because my Mom was well endowed and maybe reminds me of her, or… Continue reading I Love Boobies
Something is happening to my brain and my being. I am slowing, yet I can’t seem to stop. Sleep comes in 4 hour windows. I am anxious and afraid. I am softening. I cried with someone I barely know today. I let in a stranger. She came at me from the side so gently and… Continue reading Slowing down