11 years ago I married my best friend. In the most non-traditional way possible, I one day wrapped my arms around your legs, looked up at you from the rock ledge at Lake Minnewaska, and asked you to marry me. I nearly choked on my words, but it burst out of me in the most sincere… Continue reading The things you vow… a letter to my husband
Hanging Tough
There is a power to be harnessed in your inner toughness. I have to admit that from the get-go, I have not resonated with the pink ribbon campaigns, with the survivor mentality and verbage. I did not feel like fighting or being tough... that meant that I was a victim in some way. I have not… Continue reading Hanging Tough
Why we need to weep & wail & tear at our chests
I want to cry but I choke it I crumple it up & it dissolves back into me What just happened there? did I shrink just a little? Something died there a missed opportunity to rip the top off my feelings But I must steel myself There is no time for this shit What will… Continue reading Why we need to weep & wail & tear at our chests
Chemo the Musical
ACT 1, Scene 1 As much as one can fortify the body and mind and spirit for this sort of adventure, I was feeling ready, come Monday, August 18th. The day before, my two amazing and selfless girlfriends, Chrissa and Vern, scrubbed my apartment from head to toe (and they've got some gooood karma coming… Continue reading Chemo the Musical
Shedding Layers of Me
What is a woman without her breasts? Without her fertility? Without her hair... eyelashes, eyebrows? What is a woman too sick and sore to hold her baby, to cook for her husband? What is a woman who can't drive a car and doesn't feel well enough to contribute at work? Underneath, what will be there… Continue reading Shedding Layers of Me
Rights of the sick; Dying to Live
UPDATE, 2 weeks post surgery: I developed a fever of 102 from an infection, and felt like crap again for a few days. I learned that I actually had REFILLS on my antibiotics and should have remained on them for 3 weeks, not just 6 measly days. (Really wish the pharmacist or the doctors had… Continue reading Rights of the sick; Dying to Live
Emerging from the Chrysalis
Exactly one week ago at this time, I was fresh from surgery, in a world of pain and confusion. The last week has melded into one blurry, long day. I am through the first leg of the woods and can begin to make out the other side. Feels good to be in this place where… Continue reading Emerging from the Chrysalis
All in All, A Very Good Day!
Melissa's surgery was a success today. We got the news we wanted so badly to hear: Her sentinel lymph node tested negative for cancer cells! Thank God! Thank all of you! Melissa's resting now, I'm here to watch over her. If all looks good we will be discharged tomorrow afternoon. - Joey
The clouds have parted…
I got a wonderful phone call last night. It appears that my recent blood work and PET scan have confirmed that this cancer is confined to my breast and has not metastasized to any other part of my body. That was the BEST thing I have heard in a long time!!! I am so grateful… Continue reading The clouds have parted…
Thank you Grandma, I love you and I’m sorry
Dear Grandma Viola, We never met. I am the oldest daughter of your youngest daughter. You passed away only a few years before I was born. My mother watched you be diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 51, go through a barbaric mastectomy, which was the best they could do at the time… Continue reading Thank you Grandma, I love you and I’m sorry
Melissa's Healing Hope 